When Gemma first began working with me, she had not set out to address her mindset. She originally came for help with a young horse she had backed, while her established horse, Bart, had largely taken a back seat from competing.
Gemma enjoyed riding and eventing, but beneath that enjoyment was a pattern of nerves, avoidance and fluctuating confidence that had gradually begun shaping what she felt able—or willing—to do.
When avoiding the difficult things feels easier
Before our work together, Gemma described herself as a rider who would often “wing it and see what happened.”
She rarely walked a showjumping course properly, avoided schooling unless she needed to practise a dressage test and approached eventing more as a day out than something she felt motivated to progress within.
Her lack of confidence was not always obvious. She still rode, competed and took part—but internally, much of her attention was focused on getting through the experience.
“I would be thinking about which jumps scared me the most and about the feeling of getting over the last jump, knowing it was all over and I could relax.”
In dressage, her attention remained on the movement she had just completed. She would mentally judge whether it had been good or bad instead of preparing for what came next. By the time she collected her test sheet, she felt she already knew what the comments would say.
When competing eventually took a back seat, it became easier not to confront those feelings. Gemma and Bart hacked, visited arena hires with friends and enjoyed trips to the beach. These experiences were fun, but Gemma now recognises that they also gave her a reason to avoid competing.
When she considered returning to eventing, the nerves felt considerably stronger, and she dropped down a class.
Understanding what was happening
Our work initially centred on Gemma's horses and riding, but it soon became clear that technical coaching alone would not address everything holding her back.
A turning point came when we explored why her nerves could feel so powerful, including the difference between emotional and logical thinking.
“Knowing why my nerves were getting the better of me made a big difference. The way Sharon explained things—and why they were happening—really helped. Then I had the tools to work through situations, put them into practice and see the difference.”
Understanding the response did not mean Gemma would never feel nervous again. It meant she could recognise what was happening, challenge the story her mind was creating and choose where to place her attention.
Rather than walking a course and repeatedly focusing on the largest or most frightening fence, she began thinking about what she could influence: her turn, her line, how she needed to ride and where she was going next.
The feared fence stopped becoming the entire event.
“I'm too busy looking at the bigger picture now. I think I would happily jump a course full of oxers!”
Changing the riding as well as the thinking
Mindset work did not happen separately from Gemma's riding. We also broke the practical work into manageable parts, explored why something was or was not working and made small adjustments that helped her become a more effective rider.
“The way we break things down and build on them has made a big difference. Sharon explains why something is happening or why it isn't going quite right, and how minor adjustments can change it. I feel like I know what I am doing.”
As her understanding improved, Gemma began seeing changes in her dressage scores. That evidence gave her motivation and challenged the belief that dressage simply was not something she and Bart could do well.
But one of the most meaningful changes was not a score or a placing. It was the moment competing began to feel enjoyable again.
“I remember doing my showjumping and thinking, ‘This is great!’ rather than, ‘Let's just get this done.’ Going around the cross-country, I wasn't thinking about where the jump I was most worried about was. I was concentrating on what we were doing now and how I needed to ride.”
At the beginning of the season, Gemma did not believe she would return to eventing at 80cm until much later in the year—if at all. Instead, she completed multiple events at that level before the season had reached its halfway point.
She was no longer waiting for fear to disappear before acting. She had learned how to respond when it appeared.
From fear to 1.20m
Gemma's most eye-catching achievement came when she and Bart won a puissance after clearing 1.20m.
Had she been told at the beginning of our work that she would one day achieve that, her response would have been very simple:
“Honestly, I would have laughed in your face! I would have thought you had lost the plot or confused me with someone else.”
The height tells only part of the story.
The real change was in the rider approaching it: no longer consumed by the size of the fence or waiting for the experience to be over, but able to focus on the task, use the tools she had practised and ride what was in front of her.
Taking the work beyond riding
The same patterns that affect us in sport rarely remain neatly within that part of our lives.
As Gemma's job expanded, she began travelling to unfamiliar places and meeting new people—situations that would previously have caused considerable anxiety and nervousness.
She started applying the methods we had used in her riding to these everyday challenges.
“I have put the methods we've worked on into practice pretty much daily in different situations. Just changing the way you think about even small things makes a difference to how you react or handle a situation.”
That crossover matters. The aim of mindset work is not simply to produce one good performance or remove one particular fear. It is to help someone understand their own patterns and develop practical tools they can adapt and use independently.
Confidence does not mean never wobbling
Gemma is honest that she still experiences the occasional wobble, particularly around fences that previously triggered her anxiety.
The difference is that a wobble no longer has to dictate what happens next.
She can recognise it, return her attention to what she needs to do and continue. Confidence has become less about feeling completely fearless and more about trusting her ability to respond.
Looking back, Gemma believes the rider she was two years ago would be amazed by what she and her horses have achieved.
She is proud of clearing 1.20m, improving her dressage scores and returning to eventing—but she is also proud of getting back onto Compo following his rehabilitation, after reaching a point when she felt she never wanted to ride him again.
Her next goals include producing consistent showjumping clears, working towards a one-metre course and finally mastering those straight-line downward transitions from canter to trot.
Some goals remain a work in progress!
Gemma's advice to someone feeling as she once did
“I would tell them that I was where they are and that they can do it. If someone is nervous in the warm-up and we get chatting, I remind them that we are doing it because we enjoy it and it is meant to be fun—and, of course, speak to Sharon!”
Gemma's story is not about being pushed into doing something frightening. It is about understanding what was happening in her mind, learning how to work with it and gradually collecting evidence that a different experience was possible.
The result was not only a more confident rider.
It was someone better equipped to face uncertainty, anxiety and challenge wherever they appeared.